"This could be the best book on trauma I’ve ever read"

Dr Rick Hanson
New York Times bestselling author

I’d decided that I was unlovable, that I had to take responsibility for others’ feelings, and that people are not to be trusted, to name just a few.

This is the book I wish I’d never had to write.  It’s raw, it's deeply personal, and I had to lean into my own courage to publish it. 

And, it’s also the companion guide I wish I’d had through my darkest times, and it felt deeply important to me to share it with you.  

Packed into these pages is the best of what I’ve learnt not just on my own healing journey, but by working with thousands of people as a therapist over the last 20 years.

It includes the frameworks, the discoveries and the models that I have seen transform the lives of thousands of people, and I believe it can do the same for you.

Trauma can be deeply lonely, but I want you to know that you are not alone. Let me be your guide, and we can walk the path together.

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and get some awesome bonus resources to support your healing


Chapter 16: Build Better Boundaries (The Power of No) Learn how to build boundaries and say ‘No’ with this chapter from the audio book.

eChapter 1:

The Wounds That Shape Us - The book starts with the story of my own trauma healing, and the birth of the frameworks you will learn.

Lifetime access to my 5-day
Decode Your Trauma program

Start your journey to understanding and healing your trauma with this accessible mini program focused on the revolutionary new framework I share in It’s Not Your Fault.

Featuring video content, worksheets and reflective exercises, this series will encourage you to apply the information and framework I share to your own lived experience.

Lifetime access to my 5-day
Decode Your Fatigue program

Enjoy lifetime access to my
Decode Your Fatigue series.

With over four hours of video content, this series will help you decode your fatigue symptoms, gain clarity on their root causes, and finally have an action plan to increase overall energy and help heal the body once and for all.

Lifetime access to my 5-day
Decode Your Nervous System program

Trauma causes changes in our body. Chronic stress causes our nervous system to become overloaded and stuck in ‘on’ mode, otherwise known as a maladaptive stress response.
Get lifetime access to my 5-day Decode Your Nervous System series and start your journey to demystifying your nervous system, understanding the triggers and impacts on it and opening up pathways to healing.

Only available with purchase of It’s Not Your Fault


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Dr Rick Hanson
New York Times bestselling author
Heartfelt, powerful, and brilliant
this could be the best book on trauma I’ve ever read. It combines good science on the neuropsychology of trauma, personal stories, and tons of useful methods. Alex Howard provides a new comprehensive framework to move this field forward. Clearly and beautifully written, it carries a reader along quickly, with useful insights, warm encouragement, and practical tools on every page. A gem.
Judith Orloff, MD
Author, The Genius of Empathy
Therapist Alex Howard has written
a beautiful, informative and kind book on recovering from trauma. He writes in easy to understand, empathic language so that you are drawn into this vital subject. Alex’s message is that your pain and trauma are gateways to healing. “It’s Not Your Fault" teaches you to reset your nervous system, develop emotional resilience, and practice loving self-care as past trauma heals and you emerge into a happier and more satisfying life.
Dr Peter Levine
Creator of Somatic Experiencing
It's Not Your Fault is a powerful book
with an important message - our trauma is not our fault, but it is possible for us to heal. Through his two decades of clinical experience, Alex has developed powerful and easily accessible frameworks that will help you not just understand how you have been shaped by childhood trauma, but most importantly how you can heal from it.
Dr Aimie Apigian
A candid and refreshingly honest
journey into the wounds and emotions we do everything to NOT feel and the powerful path through to the freedom we each desire for our future. It's Not Your Fault is an essential, practical and living read for anyone with a human body, emotions, chronic illness or in the chaos of escaping emotions
Andrea Nakayama
Holistic Health Coach
Alex Howard has done it again!
It’s Not Your Fault is a book that will benefit everyone, though the reader will feel it was written specifically for them. Alex addresses a complex topic with empathy and understanding while providing tools to navigate the impacts of past traumatic experiences.

About the book

Decode Your Trauma

Chapter 1: The Wounds That Shape Us
Chapter 2: Trauma as an ECHO
Chapter 3: Discover Your Trauma Events
Chapter 4: Context is Everything
Chapter 5: How’s Your Homeostatic Balance?
Chapter 6: Outcomes of Your Trauma

The RESET Solution for Trauma Healing

Chapter 7: Recognize Which State Your Nervous System Is In
Chapter 8: Examine Your Personality Patterns
Chapter 9: Stop Running, Start Feeling
Chapter 10: Put a STOP to Your Unhelpful Behaviors
Chapter 11: The Six Emotional Defenses
Chapter 12: Inquire Into Your Emotions
Chapter 13: Moving Beyond Inner Resistance
Chapter 14: Transform Your Inner Critic

The ABCD of Healing in the Real World

Chapter 15: Ask for Help (The Power of Yes)
Chapter 16: Build Better Boundaries (The Power of No)
Chapter 17: Commit to Your Healing
Chapter 18: Decide What Your Trauma Means

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The Author

Alex Howard is founder of The Optimum Health Clinic and creator of the Therapeutic Coaching methodology, a methodology which integrates both psychotherapeutic and coaching principles. Having worked with thousands of people in the last 20 years, Alex is deeply passionate about making physical and emotional healing accessible to everyone.

In the last few years, Alex has produced a series of Super Conferences on trauma, anxiety, nervous system regulation, sleep and fatigue. These online events have been attended by over 1 million people. Since 2020 Alex has been documenting his therapeutic work with real-life patients as part of his In Therapy with Alex Howard YouTube series.